Tough times for stuffed bears

Tough times for stuffed bears

It was a message of terror but it worked. The teddy bears who were left in Los Feliz soon fled to the hills behind Los Angeles, where they nearly all died from exposure, when the United Nations stepped in and bombed anti-teddy positions from the air. Not to saw there weren’t any casualties, though. Numbers are unavailable at present.

It was a message of terror but it worked. The teddy bears who were left in Los Feliz soon fled to the hills behind Los Angeles, where they nearly all died from exposure, when the United Nations stepped in and bombed anti-teddy positions from the air. Not to saw there weren’t any casualties, though. Numbers are unavailable at present.

Call for Submissions

Hello followers of Sad Stuffed Animals. We need submissions! Send your best snapshots of depressing-looking stuffed animals as you find them out in the world. They can be both new stuffed animals in stores that just look distraught, or lonely and abandoned little guys struggling for survival, dirty and downtrodden, out in the streets. Either way - they should never be posed looking sad. That’s just weird. Give your name if you want to be credited. You can always submit anonymously. Thanks, and good luck out there, Internet.

sewertour:

in these parts they don’t take so kindly to strange pink rabbits…

sewertour:

in these parts they don’t take so kindly to strange pink rabbits…

screenshot from @vicenews dispatch on the war in Donetsk, Ukraine, of a man holding two sad stuffed animals he found in the rubble of a building recently shelled by the Ukrainian army.

screenshot from @vicenews dispatch on the war in Donetsk, Ukraine, of a man holding two sad stuffed animals he found in the rubble of a building recently shelled by the Ukrainian army.

Jerrold Goldberg, known to his friends as “Big Jerr” died yesterday from complications resulting from a fall from a structure he built out of found objects he claimed was a “ladder home.” He was born in Oregon, but made his way to California after an airplane accident left him unable to form short term memories. Big Jerry liked computers, and would repair the old electronics he often found tossed out on the street. He has no known relatives. A street vendor who gave his name as Sal and claimed to have known Big Jerr, said that “Big guy always claimed to be from outer space. Said he was extraterrestrial royalty, exiled on planet Earth, and that he was getting ready to reclaim his throne, if only someone would believe him.”  

(editors note: The body of the deceased was said to have suddenly disappeared soon after it was photographed. The sheriff’s office is investigating.)

Jerrold Goldberg, known to his friends as “Big Jerr” died yesterday from complications resulting from a fall from a structure he built out of found objects he claimed was a “ladder home.” He was born in Oregon, but made his way to California after an airplane accident left him unable to form short term memories. Big Jerry liked computers, and would repair the old electronics he often found tossed out on the street. He has no known relatives. A street vendor who gave his name as Sal and claimed to have known Big Jerr, said that “Big guy always claimed to be from outer space. Said he was extraterrestrial royalty, exiled on planet Earth, and that he was getting ready to reclaim his throne, if only someone would believe him.”

(editors note: The body of the deceased was said to have suddenly disappeared soon after it was photographed. The sheriff’s office is investigating.)

Poor baby Kangaroo. I cannot tell you how long he has been there. Just that he’s there. hanging around. Pun intended 😂😂😂
submission: Khadijah Bae

Poor baby Kangaroo. I cannot tell you how long he has been there. Just that he’s there. hanging around. Pun intended 😂😂😂

submission: Khadijah Bae

Technically not a stuffed animal but close enough a despondent and abandoned formerly cheerful thing to warrant a photograph.

Technically not a stuffed animal but close enough a despondent and abandoned formerly cheerful thing to warrant a photograph.

Zoos are obviously animal jails. They exist in our modern world only as a remnant of a time where we had no clue as to the rich inner workings of the non-human animal kingdom. It’s the height of arrogance to take wild animals, beautiful as they are, and lock them inside of open-air cages so  little johnny and janie can learn about great and powerful mammalia in the flesh. (Any kid worth their innocent intelligence should ask the obvious -  if these animals are so amazing, why are they here in this zoo?) So, knowing all of that, it should come as no surprise when, on occasion, one of those magnificent beauties try to free themselves from their incarceration. In this case, it was a giraffe, a Giraffa camelopardalis stuffed, that, taking stock of his life, and unable to shake his dreams of running in the savanna, dreams where he was running in the open, in family packs of five, finally and at long last made a break for the fences.
Fences, borders, these are all strange things. They’re man-made earth-scars, nothing more than ultimately futile attempts at delineating a natural world that defies real ownership and categorization.  (Fences don’t go all the way down, and they certainly don’t go all the way up, after all). And yet - there they are, standing in place, halting the flow of natural ambulatory ambition like a dam on the soul. Human constructs or not, they’re still deadly. And on occasion - when they do their jobs well - as the did in this instance, they not only enforce the law of the border, but serve as a warning to all lions, zebras and antelope within eyesight that disobedience will not be tolerated. That their home and their fate is the zoo. 
Rumors had it that a wildebeest escaped once. But they were only rumors. All anyone knew was that one made it for the fences and was never seen or heard from again. 

Zoos are obviously animal jails. They exist in our modern world only as a remnant of a time where we had no clue as to the rich inner workings of the non-human animal kingdom. It’s the height of arrogance to take wild animals, beautiful as they are, and lock them inside of open-air cages so  little johnny and janie can learn about great and powerful mammalia in the flesh. (Any kid worth their innocent intelligence should ask the obvious -  if these animals are so amazing, why are they here in this zoo?) So, knowing all of that, it should come as no surprise when, on occasion, one of those magnificent beauties try to free themselves from their incarceration. In this case, it was a giraffe, a Giraffa camelopardalis stuffed, that, taking stock of his life, and unable to shake his dreams of running in the savanna, dreams where he was running in the open, in family packs of five, finally and at long last made a break for the fences.

Fences, borders, these are all strange things. They’re man-made earth-scars, nothing more than ultimately futile attempts at delineating a natural world that defies real ownership and categorization.  (Fences don’t go all the way down, and they certainly don’t go all the way up, after all). And yet - there they are, standing in place, halting the flow of natural ambulatory ambition like a dam on the soul. Human constructs or not, they’re still deadly. And on occasion - when they do their jobs well - as the did in this instance, they not only enforce the law of the border, but serve as a warning to all lions, zebras and antelope within eyesight that disobedience will not be tolerated. That their home and their fate is the zoo. 

Rumors had it that a wildebeest escaped once. But they were only rumors. All anyone knew was that one made it for the fences and was never seen or heard from again. 

Notes on SSA

A sad stuffed animal isn’t really sad, even though it looks sad. It has no internal life, it can’t, has no brain. And yet the phrase “sad stuffed animal” still makes sense. It’s still a phrase with meaning, even though it describes an utter impossibility. Which implies that the descriptor “sad” has a meaning that’s independent of the thing it’s describing- a meaning tied more to our interpretation of the stuffed animals internal life than the fact of that internal life itself. Meaning- “sadness” is a quality that we ascribe to external objects but that really emanates from ourselves. The stuffed animal cannot be sad and yet it is sad to look at, it’s an object without a mind and yet it elicits sympathy to look at it. It crosses the uncanny valley in a way a mannequin would never, by virtue of it’s expressive face and nonhuman form. Feeling bad for a sad stuffed animal is a way of communing with the soul of the world. It’s staring in awe and fear at a cave painting of a bear that cannot hurt us. It’s art at it’s most raw.